Dancing In The Minefields
by LxIsxJustice
Summary: "Are you serious, Tony?" Bruce quirked a brow, not bothering to hide the wide grin that just got wider when Tony did a little shimmy up to him. "This is going to make me relax?" Tony/Bruce.


**You all just…you all…you…-falls over- What have I done with my life to be worthy of such amazing and dedicated readers and reviewers! I'm crying. No seriously, you all are amazing! I wish I could write a story for each and every one of you. I probably will. So here is another fic, because you just blow my mind. It's (surprise, surprise) a Tony/Bruce fic. And…I have no words for how much fun this was to write. I could envision everything in my mind, and it needs to be an actual scene at some point. The song is "Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of)" by Lou Bega. If you have never heard this song, you have been deprived. Go listen to it, because the fic is so much better with it. I saw some fan art (I'll see if I can find the link) of Bruce and Tony dancing, and this fic was immediately inspired. I'm dedicating it to soccer-vampire-girl and tmmdeathwishrave for their beautiful reviews. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Marvel or the Mambo that ruled the 90's.**

Music is the greatest of expression, the epitome of the beauty in humanity. It can tame a serpent, work a crowd into a frenzy, and make a day on the job that much better. And sometimes, it can be as meaningless as a mime that falls in a forest (does anyone hear? Or care?) and still have the greatest impact of any song.

They were working in Tony's lab—Bruce still could never think of it as 'theirs'—after a recent battle against some of the most disgusting scientifically enhanced spiders any of the Avengers had ever come across. Bruce was a scientist; he'd seen ugly spiders before. These…were nasty. Spiders were now on the Hulk's vast list of "Things Hulk No Like". He sighed. _Great, just one more thing that will set me off._

The day had not started or progressed well, in terms of a hold on his temper. The day had begun with a blaring Avenger alarm waking him from a deep REM cycle; the sound so shrill he thought he was going to Hulk Out right there, without any time to adjust. That would have severely hurt his bones and muscles, so he'd gritted his teeth and pushed the beast back down. He'd stopped referring to the Other Guy as a monster, at Tony's insistence, and it eventually stuck in his mind. 'Beast' was a step, but he wasn't ready to embrace the Hulk with open arms yet. Not that Hulk cared.

Then the day had gone from bad to worse when the spiders showed up, and things went to Helheim gates when one of the spiders had flown into the air—what sick bastard put _wings_ on a _spider_? That was just…doubly gross—and started trying to rip Tony's suit apart. Bruce had flipped out and the Hulk made his debut, and the doctor was just glad he didn't have memories of the battle if only so he didn't have to see the spiders in his conscious memory more often than necessary.

In the end, the day had been saved, not salvaged, in Bruce's mind. But, as he and Tony worked quietly together on the half-destroyed suit, he had to admit that his ruffled feathers were being soothed by Tony's soft humming and the whirr of the machinery. He took off his glasses, rubbing at his tired eyes and smiled at the turn of his thoughts. _That's Tony for you. Annoys the hell out of everyone else, and manages to practically put the Other Guy to sleep. Just one more reason to love him._

He had just put his glasses back on when he noticed Tony staring at him. "What?" he asked nervously, wondering why his lover was looking at him like that. Lover…he still wasn't used to that idea. He didn't think he ever really would.

"I think someone needs to unwind," Tony said, with a devious grin on his lips. "You look ready to explode from the mere thought of anymore spider innards."

Bruce's hand immediately flew to his mouth, gagging and his eyes watering at the _imagery_! He could hear Tony laughing uproariously and a hand pat his back, but his head was spinning. "You are…so lucky you were…humming earlier or the Other Guy…would be beating the tar out of you right now," he gasped, trying to stop thinking about spiders. And their spleens.

"Yeah, well, my track record is pretty good so far. I've only gotten beaten up by the Jolly Green Giant twice so far." He frowned for a moment, nodding seriously. "That's…yeah, that's a _really_ good record. Pepper alone has beat the shit outta me more times than I can count, not to mention Natasha, and Steve and Thor, Clint, former girlfriends…have I told you how much I love you lately?" He grinned, sauntering forward to trap Bruce against the lab table.

The scientist chuckled, "Why? Because I don't beat you up on a regular basis? I thought_ I_ had problems." Tony pouted and shook his head.

"_Noooo_, because I am who I am because of you." Bruce grinned, making Tony continue. "Because I gave my heart away long ago, my whole heart, and never got it back? Because the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return? Because _you_…" he pointed to Bruce, before meshing his fingers together and then pointing at himself, "…complete me." Bruce laughed and shook his head when Tony waggled his eyebrows.

"Romantic chick-flicks that I have never watched aside (seriously, don't tell the others), you really do look like you need to relax. I know_ just_ how to do that." He slunk closer, wrapping his arms around Bruce and bringing his mouth close to the scientist's teasingly. Bruce was going to protest, saying they had work to do, before suddenly music filled the room with a jaunty tune. Bruce startled before suddenly realizing Tony had moved back and had his hand held out to him. He had pressed play on the iPod behind Bruce.

_One, two, three, four, five,_

_Everybody in the car so come on let's ride_

_To the liquor store around the corner._

_The boys say they want some gin and_

_Juice but I really don't wanna_

_Beerbust like I had last week_

"Are you serious, Tony?" Bruce quirked a brow, not bothering to hide the wide grin that just got wider when Tony did a little shimmy up to him. "_This_ is going to make me relax?"

"Give it up, Doc, we're dancing. This is happening. Don't fight the music," Tony replied cheekily, taking Bruce's hands and drawing them back and forth, with one of his going back and drawing Bruce's forward, then repeating with the other. Finally, Bruce just laughed and rolled his eyes, moving his arms into the motion.

_I must stay deep 'cause talk is cheap_

_I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra, and Rita_

_And as I continue, you know they're getting sweeter_

_So, what can I do? I really beg you, my Lord_

_To me flirting is just like a sport, anything fly_

_It's all good let me dump it please set in the trumpet_

Now they were getting into the music, Tony twirling Bruce in circles and both of them twisting and shimmying and giggling like absolute morons as they spun each other around and did jazz hands. Tony suddenly got up on an empty lab table and did a little point-and-groove dance that almost had Bruce howling with mirth. Tony tried to get him up on the table too, and when Bruce refused, he suddenly leapt off, yelling, "Catch me, Mr. Green!" Bruce only had seconds before he found himself with arms full of Tony and staggered for a moment before he steadied them. Tony was cackling madly and said, "No, no, you have to twirl now! That's the rule!"

"Tony, you're heav—"

"Do it!" Tony commanded, wrapping his arms around Bruce before the scientist complied and spun them in a dizzying circuit of circles. Their laughter was so loud, they were surprised no one had come to make sure there were no mad scientists invading the lab. Besides the obvious ones.

_A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side_

_A little bit of Rita is all I need, a little bit of Tina is what I see_

_A little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long_

_A little bit of Jessica here I am, a little bit of you makes me your man_

They belted out the lyrics, neither really in tune, although Tony _might_ have been a little hot and bothered by Bruce's low voice, and doing in-step grooves and shoulder wiggles. Honestly, there were probably no names for their movements, but who cared? Tony clasped Bruce around the waist and grabbed his hand to do a few steps of a Tango that would make any real dancer, very, _very _angry.

_Jump up and down and move it all around_

_Shake your head to the sound, put your hand on the ground_

_Take one step left, and one step right_

_One to the front and one to the side_

_Clap your hands once and clap your hands twice_

_And if it looks like this then you're doing it right_

They did a move they once saw some actor named Tom Hiddleston do, and both failed epically, but they tried. Fingers twined and Tony wrapped his leg around Bruce's hip when the shorter male managed to dip him, and they could not stop giggling. Head-banging like a rock star and falling over was probably going to take a toll on their necks and backs tomorrow, but neither cared much.

"Tony, do the worm! Pepper said you could," Bruce managed to get in between breaths. Tony just grinned and dropped to the ground to show off his skills. "Oh wow, you're flexible."

"I'm _very _flexible."

_A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side_

_A little bit of Rita is all I need, a little bit of Tina is what I see_

_A little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long_

_A little bit of Jessica here I am, a little bit of you makes me your man_

The final verse came on, and they went back to the first movements they had done. Bruce watched his lover with a warmth that was slowly starting to become more natural to him. _Ah, I can add this to the list of things I love about Tony. He can convince me to dance._

_I do all, to fall in love with a girl like you_

_You can't run, and you can't hide_

_You and me gonna touch the sky_

Strike a pose!

With that, they fell back onto the couch that was woefully unprepared for the damage it had taken tonight. They may or may not have jumped on it (and off of it) at some point. Gasping for breath, and laughing so hard they couldn't make any sound, the pair sat there, with their palms kissing and their fingers interlaced, grinning at each other.

Bruce had more practice controlling his breath, and when he could speak, he smiled softly and said, "Thank you."

"Ah, it was nothing."

"Not nothing. You know me way too well," Bruce replied and leaned over to kiss Tony. Their mouths robbed each other of air once more, drinking in the after-taste of beautiful laughter. When they broke apart, Tony waggled his eyebrows again.

"'You and me gonna touch the sky', huh? Should we test that hypothesis?"

Bruce kissed him again. "With every experiment in the book." They got up, Bruce twirling Tony once more before they ran, shushing each other on their way to the bedroom.

In a hidden alcove near the lab, Pepper let out a burst of laughter before covering her mouth and sending the recorded video to the other Avengers. "Oh my god, I love my family," she squealed happily. Bizarre families like theirs were masters at dancing in the minefields.

_Finis_

**Read and Review! Haha, Tony quoting chick flicks. It's my headcanon. I hope you all enjoyed!**


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